BQBL 2016-2017: The Beginning

Welcome one and all to the all important rebirth of the infamous Bad Quarterback League! Here our QBs will battle it out to determine who is the worst QB starting in the NFL. Let us set the ground rules for this battle.

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The Ground Rules

In your typical fantasy league, your QB is you biggest scorer. The better your QB, the more points you get. In our BQBL fantasy league, the worse you are the more points you get. So we come up with a completely arbitrary ranking and standards for QBs to explain just how bad they are. Over the course of the season we will keep track of all the QBs in the league and our own drafted teams.

Unfortunately, last year's individual winner Nick Foles is will not be returning to start as he the the fourth string QB in Kansas City. So his crown will pass on to the next terrible QB. Who will be champion? Tune in throughout the season to find out!

But we can't just have individual ratings, we have to make a game out of it. So we have our on little competition. Myself and Plasma_Zero will draft 6 QBs before the start of the season. Each week will take our top 3 scoring QBs and add them to our totals in our little fantasy league. The winner gets the ultimate bragging rights for know who the most terrible QB in the NFL are.

Once the season begins we'll have links to the sheets that we are using to keep track of our points.

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The Scoring System

GAME POINTS:

• Benched during game (non-injury): 35 points


• Benched during game (injury): 15 points


• Interception: 10 points


• Fumbles lost: 5 points


• Interception/Fumble for TD (Stacks): 15 points


• No passes of 25+ yards: 10 points


• Sacked for a safety: 17 points


• Sacked: 3 points


• No passing/rushing TDs in a start: 20 points

STATS POINTS (Must have 10 or more pass attempts):

• Under 260 passing yards: 6 points


• Under 200 passing yards: 14 points


• Under 140 passing yards: 26 points


• Under 60 percent completion rate: 6 points


• Under 50 percent completion rate: 14 points


• Under 40 percent completion rate: 26 points


• Under 7 yards gain per pass attempt: 6 points


• Under 5.5 yards gain per pass attempt: 14 points


• Under 4 yards gain per pass attempt: 26 points


• Under 90 Quarterback Rating (NFL, not ESPN): 6 points


• Under 65 Quarterback Rating (NFL, not ESPN): 14 points


• Under 40 Quarterback Rating (NFL, not ESPN): 26 points

Note: Tier 1 represents below everyday average starter in NFL. Tier 2 is a midpoint. Tier 3 is worse than 2015-2016 Nick Foles' worst games. They are not arbitrary choices.

BONUS POINTS

• Roger Goodell Special (Commissioner press conference for an offense): 70 points


• Suspended: 50 points each game


• Dick pic on the web (Must make news circuit): 80 points


• Released (Applied to the week after game): 120 points

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The Draft

 

hidsnake

You got your team name set?

 

Plasma_Zero

yeah im just gonna go with 'Deep and True HotTaeks'

 

hidsnake

Kay. I'm sticking with "Notice Me Vince Young Senpai." or "Vince Young Senpai" for short.

So we doing double alternating picks. 1-2-2-1-1-2-2-1-1-2-2-1. Dice roll and winner pick to draft first or second.Cool?

 

Plasma_Zero

Ok

 

hidsnake

hidsnake rolls 5d6 and gets 17. [ 5 5 1 5 1 ]

Boat.

 

Plasma_Zero

Plasma_Zero rolls 5d6 and gets 16. [ 5 3 2 2 4 ]

 

hidsnake

I win!\

 

Plasma_Zero

but you still fail at this first pick so it evens out.

 

hidsnake

I'll take first pick. And I'll take......

Mark Sanchez.

 

Plasma_Zero

BASTARD

 

hidsnake

HAVE YOU SEEN DENVER.

HE WILL START EVERY GAME.BRAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Plasma_Zero

i would ask if you want offer some analysis on this pick, but no one should need this explained to them.

 

hidsnake

Buttfumble 2.0

 

Plasma_Zero

Am I up now?

 

hidsnake

Yup

You get 2 picks.

 

Plasma_Zero

With the second pick, I'm am going to take a qb that was so bad that denver decided they would rather have sanchez than pay him....

brock osweiler

 

hidsnake

Ya. He was #2 on my board as well.

 

Plasma_Zero

-overpaid contract on a team with a good defense means they are gonna keep him locked as starting QB regardless of how bad he is.

 

hidsnake

Who's his backup?

 

Plasma_Zero

uh..........tom savage and the ginger cringer

DUDE THATS A FUCKING DUMPSTER FIRE

 

hidsnake

BRADON WEEDEN?

AWWWW SHEEETYa. He'll play alot of games. And be bad.

 

Plasma_Zero

the good ole 'we have no other options so fuck it' strategy

 

hidsnake

Aright, so you have the 3rd pick. Who you got?

 

Plasma_Zero

Alright on to the 3rd pick..... another overpaid qb on a team that has no other options but to let him throw garbage balls all day.......ryan tannehill

 

hidsnake

Not a terrible pick. He'll play alot and likely not play great.

 

Plasma_Zero

only other qb on the depth chart is matt moore and the dolphins just look like a horrible team. probably 4th place in their division.

 

hidsnake

I have no idea who Matt Moore is.

 

Plasma_Zero

the name seems familiar but i got no clue who is

 

hidsnake

¯\_(ツ)_/¯s

 

Plasma_Zero

your pick now

 

hidsnake

I think I might be a tad off your board on this one.

but i really like him

With the 4th pick I take.....Matt Stafford.

 

Plasma_Zero

good pick. he was next on my list. /thumbsup

 

hidsnake

Lost his best wideout and was terrible last year.

 

Plasma_Zero

no megatron to bail him out anymore

 

hidsnake

I'm not sure how Detroit wins any games this year.

 

Plasma_Zero

he always been a turnover machine but he also scored a bunch of TDs. alot of boom or bust offense. its gonna be all boom by my guess

 

hidsnake

ALright onto the fifth pick then.

Now we into the meat of the draft

 

Plasma_Zero

THIS IS WHERE PICKS GET INTERESTING

 

hidsnake

I'll take......

Jameis Winston

CRAB LEGS BEYOTCH

 

Plasma_Zero

oh.. thats interesting. i kinda forgot he was in the league.

WHERES THE BUTTER AT?

 

hidsnake

Plays in Tampa. That's not hard.

Anyway, he's a sophomore QB on a bad team that I thought wasn't good last year.

 

Plasma_Zero

who is tampa's coach?  do they even have one?

 

hidsnake

ahhhhhhh

 

Plasma_Zero

he had a couple good games to cover up a bunch of mediocre play

 

hidsnake

Dirk Koetter?

ahhhh who?

 

Plasma_Zero

ok, im sure he'll do fine. whoever he is.

 

hidsnake

Anyway, back to you with 2 picks.

 

Plasma_Zero

Alright with the sixith pick....I have to make the choice of which QB to pick out chip kelleys personal hell in SF.... i am going with the walking beats headphones advertisement Colin Kaepernick

 

hidsnake

Oh man. I wondered who was going to be the first to take someone from the SF QB hell.

 

Plasma_Zero

goes without saying qb situation in SF is horrible and kelleys offense is going to make that situation worse

Next pick is mine correct?

 

hidsnake

The problem with taking a QB in SF is if you they, they will get points. And if they get points, they are going to get benched.

if they play*

 

Plasma_Zero

hopefully that self destruction is short lived but glorious

 

hidsnake

Anyway, onto pick #7

 

Plasma_Zero

With the seventh pic, I am going to go with a BQBL hall of famer.....

 

hidsnake

OH MAN

HERE IT COMES

 

Plasma_Zero

Smoking Jay Cutler

 

hidsnake

DINGDINGDING

 

Plasma_Zero

<INSERT OBVIOUS REASONS HERE>

 

hidsnake

/throws into triple coverage, just cause

 

Plasma_Zero

only reason i didnt take him earlier is the chance that the bears bail on him and start someone else.

 

hidsnake

I don't want to talk about Brian Hoyer anymore.

 

Plasma_Zero

your turn

THE SAVIOR OF THE CLEVELAND BROWNS..... OH WAIT NEVERMIND

 

hidsnake

Ok, so onto the 8th pick for meself.

With it I take...Sam Bradford.

May not get a full season's worth of games with him, but ima gunna get a bunch of points early in the season.

 

Plasma_Zero

either injured or bench for wentz at some point but you will get some good points out of him

 

hidsnake

I mean Philly paid him piles of money. You gotta think they are going to play him.

So, onto pick #9.

 

Plasma_Zero

my turn now?

 

hidsnake

No.

My pick fool.

You get next 2 picks.With the 9th pick I take good ole reliable that everyone forgets is still playing football somewhere.

I take....Alex Smith

 

Plasma_Zero

'10 yd deep route'

 

hidsnake

I get the no pass longer than 25yds every game.

 

Plasma_Zero

'How do passes to WR work again?'

 

hidsnake

What's a WR again?

Anyway, you have next 2 pick. Your last 2 at that.

 

Plasma_Zero

alright tenth pick so we are getting to some weird picks so i had to go to a team thats in london.......

Blake 'interceptions through portals' Bortles

 

hidsnake

I like that pick.

he was next on my board.

 

Plasma_Zero

yeah another horrible team with horrible qb situation

 

hidsnake

Ya. It's Jacksonville.

 

Plasma_Zero

Moving on to the eleventh pick, the last person on my list was on a team that just moved and still has mr 8-8 as their head coach.......

Jared Goff

 

hidsnake

Whoa. You took the rook.

 

Plasma_Zero

rookie qb on a bad team with case keenum as backup

 

hidsnake

Hass it been decided if he will start?

 

Plasma_Zero

he is going to see time at some time point

ill take a chance on it

 

hidsnake

I would think he would.

 

Plasma_Zero

CASE KEENUM

 

hidsnake

....yaaaaaaaa

Guess it's time for the last pick over to me.

And this one is really hard.

 

Plasma_Zero

elite BQB are hard to find

 

hidsnake

I've got 3 guys on my board left.

And all 3 make sense.

But I think with the #12 pick, I'll take.....Teddy Bridgewater

 

Plasma_Zero

HAMBURGER HELPER GLOVES

thats an interesting pick

 

hidsnake

It was either him, RG3, or Manning.

 

Plasma_Zero

yeah i was goona take RG3 but i dont think he last long enough healt-wise

 

hidsnake

That's why I passed on him.

Plus Cleveland has not terribly terrible Josh McCown.

 

Plasma_Zero

yeah, bridgewater will start all 16 games if he doesnt get hurt

minnesotas back is shaun hill, who has to be at least 50 years at this point

 

hidsnake

HE'S STILL ALIVE?

 

Plasma_Zero

APPARENTLY

 

hidsnake

damn

Ok, let's go through the teams.

hidsnake - Vince Young Senpai
1. Mark Sanchez
4. Matt Stafford
5. Jameis Winston
8. Sam Bradford
9. Alex Smith
12. Teddy Bridgewater

Plazma_Zero - Deep and True Hottaeks
2. Brock Osweiler
3. Ryan Tannehill
6. Colin Kaepernick
7. Jay Cutler
10. Blake Bortles
11. Jared Goff

 

Plasma_Zero

yup thats what i had written down

 

hidsnake

I feel like my top has lots of points on it and your bottom has crazy wild cards.

 

Plasma_Zero

yeah i used the bottom half as wild cards that could net me nothing but could also implode spectacularly

 

hidsnake

Alright, I guess we good then. I'll also use this moment to setup emergency rules.

If one of your players before the start of teh season get injuried, you are allowed to got free angecy and swap out.

But only before the start of the season. You gotta ride with what you got during.

 

Plasma_Zero

/lookstoSFdumpsterfire

 

hidsnake

/shrug

Alright. I write up and article and after the first Thursday night game I'll setup the G-Docs spreedsheets. I'll regularly update them Monday/Wednesday and have a blog article on Wednesday/Thursday.